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THE POWER OF LETTING THINGS GO

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THE POWER OF LETTING THINGS GO

http://apchan.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Away-348827268

http://apchan.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Away-348827268

How many of you cling to your feelings? Maybe you hold a grudge or always remember an embarrassing situation? Why do you do it? Why? Does reminding yourself of the unpleasant past do anything for your future? Does it foster any good to your present now? 

The answer is NO! In fact, it actually debilitates you even more. Believe it or not, holding on to the things from your past--hold you back. Never truly being able to close the doors of your past, prevent ones from fully opening. If you constantly remind yourself of that asshole who broke your heart, or that argument you had with your mom, or that time  you tried something and failed-- you will never allow yourself the time to heal. Its like getting a cut on the tip of your finger.  If you constantly rub it or bump it into stuff it will never get better. Instead, it actually makes doing anything in the present moment really difficult and vexatious. Like this cut, your past experiences, affect the things your able to accomplish in the now.

They become part of you and part of how you see and experience everything. The negative thing you chose to hold on to from your past become part of your story and before you know it, you begin to internalize those thoughts and feelings. Do you ever wonder why you always tend to have the same kind of relationships with the opposite sex? Do you tend to make the same assumptions or jump to the same conclusions? Maybe your always the one to be on the defense when you talk with your mother? Do you hold yourself back from trying new things because the last time you did you failed? The past that you cling to becomes the present that create.

Instead of welcoming new and exciting possibilities, lets say you become somewhat jaded. Yes, the things you chose to cling to mold the reality you come to live in.  Eventually without even realizing it you even start using your past experience as justifications for your current situation. The things that you cling to hold you accountable to those experiences, and instead of seeing the world anew ---you come to see the world with a little less light. And that dimmed out view of the world in turn comes to affects how you interact with the world and ultimately becomes your justification for how things turn out. What you don't realize in the greater scheme of things, is that, had you not held on to the past, the present would be full of light and therefore how you interact with it would be different and what you received wouldn't be the same! That is why letting go of anything negative must go! Like it never even happened! Allow yourself some amnesia from the negatives in your past. There is no need to haul around all those bad experiences if they don't serve you, don't allow them to linger on.

Letting go is not as hard as it may seem. Bad things happen to everyone. And as far as I know, we can't change them, we can't travel back in time, so why continue to perpetuate them?  Just accept the things that have happened to you in their entirety and accept that there is nothing you can do  to change them and then choose to let them go. Once you’re able to move on and close old doors, new doors will open up, better opportunities will arise, and, most of all, you’ll have a better story to tell. A story that instead of holding you back, is pushing you forwards!

Your mind can be your biggest enemy or your best friend.  Learn how to let go of things that hold you back through writing in my blog post "Free yourself Write". 

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Mindfulmess vs. Mindfulness

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Mindfulmess vs. Mindfulness

 

mind·ful·mess

noun

1. a state of being unconscious or unaware of something 

2. a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the past events and the ones that have yet to come. 

3. Feeling frustrated or disappointed by one's feelings, thoughts, or reactions. 

4. Reacting to moments or events that have already occurred.

 

mind·ful·ness

noun

1. a state of being conscious or aware of something

2. a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment

3. Calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

4. Moment by moment awareness in the present. 

 

Which are you? Lately, I must say I've been more of a 'mindful-mess'. As I am currently adapting to a new home, new people, unusual circumstances and different ideals. I have become more and more aware of my abrupt need to make judgements, my irritability at almost everything and a sense of anxiety about things that have not yet occurred. I’ll be honest, for the longest time I thought I had mastered the art of being mindful, but the recent influx of unusual circumstances have proven me otherwise!

Gone are the days that I paused before I responded as if I couldn't understand what you said. Gone are the days when I walked around taking it all in like it was the first day of spring. Gone are the days where I felt like I could see the future and clearly understand all things. What has happened? Where has my mindfulness gone? Why is my mind such a mess? These questions have begun to oscillate in my head.

Now, be aware that although I may not be as mindful as I once was, the fact that I can acknowledge the lack therein is mindful in itself. So ask yourself these questions: Do you realise when your being mindful? Do you realise when your mind is more of a mess? Are you able to catch yourself in those moments and recognise its not your best?

If your answer is yes. Then you have known what mindfulness is. In fact, we all have. You see, mindfulness is a basic human function that has become not so basic due to all the distractions of the world. As you may already know, mindfulness is rooted in Buddhism and it is considered one of the oldest traditions ever practiced. Back in the day, Buddha believed that mindfulness should be part of everyday life and he believed that it was a key for gaining deep wisdom. Wisdom about life, purpose, people and most importantly wisdom about yourself! 

Although, this idea of being aware of the reality of things in the present moment has had its peaks here and there since the 1970s, it is not just a trend, it has been around for thousands of years and will probably be around for many more. Therefore, it is important for us to be aware of our mindfulness versus our 'mindful-mess' so that we can be fully present in the here and now rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.

Being mindful is a moment-by-moment awareness in the present moment that can be gained or lost depending on us. Yes, like all things in life being mindful takes practice and it takes a lot of work on our behalf. We have to choose to be mindful everyday in anyway we can. You can practice being mindful as you're eating, as you're walking, as you're taking a shower or as you're driving. Use the sensations of breathing as your anchor to the present moment and go from there. Little by little build up on your sensory experience and learn to take them in one by one as they occur. If your not sure where to start read my blog on 'How to be Mindful' for help. 

And, if you are not sure where you lie on a mindfulness vs. 'mindful-mess' scale take this test. Become aware of where you are in your mindfulness and feel free to share your results in the comments section below.

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If you could do anything you wanted to do & get paid for it, what would you do?

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If you could do anything you wanted to do & get paid for it, what would you do?

Do you ever fear that maybe you don't have what it takes to follow your dreams? Do you fear that you don't know where to start? Have you ever danced around with the idea that maybe you were destined to be doing something else but are not sure what that could be?

Its okay. I've been there too, many times. 

The place where you feel you don't belong, but you are at because you don't really know what other place you can be without risking it all. And, when I say all, I mean security-- your financial security to be exact. Lets face it. Most of us chain ourselves to our jobs because of money. We need money to live, in fact, we need money to do anything. Last fall I was in Europe and I kid you not, I needed money to use the public restroom in many places! I know, I couldn't believe it either. Imagine I was really desperate and had no change. What has this world come to! Seriously, I get it, money is unfortunately very important and we need it. Especially if you tend to have a small bladder like me!

Now ask yourself this question:

 "If you could do anything you wanted to do and get paid for it, what would you do?"

I remember my yoga teacher once upon a time asked us this question prior to a class and told us to meditate on our answer throughout the class. Back then I was working an 8 to 3 job with a ocean front view on a island in the Caribbean, not that bad if you asked me. However, it was not where my mind was wandering to when she asked the question. "If I could do anything I want and get paid to do it, what would I do? What would I dooooooo.......?" I thought as I straightened out my warrior pose and gazed out into the abyss just beyond my hand. 

In my head I started listing things that I really enjoyed doing...Like drinking wine for example. "No no no! Come on, be serious." I told myself. So then I thought, well I really love the beach and I like to sit in silence, listen to the waves and meditate. I also like to have deep conversations about the meaning of life. I like to be healthy and research new wellness approaches. I like to share my findings and give advice. I also like to share my point of view, sometimes whether you ask for it or not. So "How could I make a living from sun gazing, health seeking and expert advice?" I thought.

Then it occurred to me, to make a living off the things you like is authentic and real-- people seek out authenticity. They seek out real experiences that make them come alive. I realized that the things I loved to do were the things that made me feel most alive. Therefore, if I could share those things with others and inspire them to do the same, then that would be the job for me. 

Its funny really that my idea to break away from for the corporate paradigm began like this. However, it goes to show you that if you put your mind to it, anything is possible and not only is it possible, but it is attainable! If you truly believe in your heart that you could and should be doing something better then you are today-- find a way to do it! Life is short, make your presence felt, be different and be brave. Ask yourself; What are you good at? What do you love? What about what you love can you share with others? Why would they love it? How can you make the things you love your business and way of life. Be brave, you will be surprised at what you can attain!

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Have You Ever Contemplated Moving to an Island & Leaving it all Behind?

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Have You Ever Contemplated Moving to an Island & Leaving it all Behind?

Well, I have and not only did I contemplate it, but I did it for FIVE years. Pretty wild, I know. I heard it all the time, especially from my friends still living in major cities like LA and NYC.

"What? Are you crazy? Your going to live there?' 
"Your staying longer?'
"When are you planning to come back to the real world?"

I still remember them asking, while I chuckled to myself from the  "non " real part of the world. What was so bad about leaving it all behind? What was I really leaving behind? Pollution? Stress? Unrealistic social ideals? Traffic? Small Talk? A concrete jungle? Instead, I feel I had gained things I would have never be able to find in a city. Like a piece of mind for example. You have any idea how hard those are to come across these days with all the distractions a city has to offer! I also gained some fresh clean tropical air! I bet you didn't see that coming. Yes, my fake part of the world had some really fresh air. And to top it all off I gained TIME! This I must say was one of my most prized possession. I'll get into the importance of time in a later post. But,  to gain time in a literal sense is something priceless. I gained time to think, sit, breathe, cook my own meals, explore new hobbies, watch the sunset and rise.  I gained time for times' own sake. 

Moving to an Island and leaving it all behind was the biggest gain of my life. Now, I won't lie. It is not an easy thing to do and it does require some patience.  You see, Island people, because they have so much time-- they tend to take their time-- with everything. From New York City to Dominican Republic the time it took to get a cup of coffee in a coffee shop could drive someone mad. But 'Hey' in exchange for some fresh air-- its okay. You learn to deal. It was hot living on an island so who needs hot coffee anyway...

Most importantly, I must say living on an island really allowed me to stop, think, reflect and figure out what I wanted most from life. Something that I had a very hard time doing in a city. I feel like I was never really doing what I wanted to do.  Instead, I feel like I was always doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing (according to the media/masses). In a city your perception of reality is really distorted.  Your start believing that the things portrayed on television are real. You convince yourself  that success only means money and fame. That people are means to an end and that conversations should be a calculated exchange of boast and praise.

Done were the days where I identified with the social ideals of no one I really knew but myself. By moving to an island I decided to redefine the social constructs that had so indiscreetly hindered me and my true potential. I learned to believe in myself, value my own beliefs, appreciate time, nature and life.  And, with that,  I realized that I had my own definition of success and they had nothing to do with money or fame. 

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21 Questions for a Spiritual Seeker

21 Questions for a Spiritual Seeker

Questions are an important part of life. If you wish to live a spiritual and mindful life you must never cease to ask questions. Spirituality is an on-going conversation with you and your soul. If you haven´t started you must. I have come up with some questions to help you get the conversation started. During your conversation remember to stop, to listen and to reflect. Don't worry if you do not have all the answers, with time some will come and others will simply arise. Sometimes the questions themselves invoke you to seek out their answers and change your whole perception.  Be patient with yourself. Namaste.

  1. What does soul mean to me?
  2. Why do I exist?
  3. What am I grateful for?
  4. How do I define happiness?
  5. What do I truly wish to achieve in my lifetime?
  6. How would I would I like to be remembered?
  7. How often do I let my anger or emotions control what I say and do?
  8. Am I proud of who I am and who I am becoming? 
  9. What makes me sad or disappointed about myself?
  10. What is my deepest fear?
  11. Do I spend time alone? Do I enjoy my own company?
  12. If I could do anything and be paid for it, what would I do?
  13. What inspires me?
  14. Who am I really?
  15. Why do I love myself?
  16. Why do people love me?
  17. What is my deepest intention?
  18. Do I offend people or make them feel important?
  19. Do I spend time in nature and reflect often? why? why, not?
  20. Am I a wise person?
  21. Do I care deeply about others?

 

Voice with No Sound

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Voice with No Sound

spir·i·tu·al  

adj.  

Of, relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material

Growing up in a religious household forces you to ask deep and meaningful questions. After many years away from home, I took my questions somewhere else. In college I got a master in Philosophy and learned about many different world religions and their belief systems. Some I loved, while others I thought were too radical. I picked and chose what I liked from each religion and made it my own. What I realized then, is that spirituality had nothing to do with religion and had everything to do with You.

I don't argue that religion is spiritual and spirituality could be considered religious. However, the fact that one tends to be more personal and private while the other incorporates public rituals and organized doctrines is where I drew the line. Although I feared that maybe I was wrong by not following a specific religion or adhering to a certain dogma. Something inside me felt right. And, that is what Spirituality ultimately is! It is the little feeling inside that you know something is right. Its a voice without words. If you have felt that before that is your religion. Your intuition is your spirituality and tells you subconsciously what is meant for you.

Don't be afraid to feel things. Discover the voice inside you because it is waiting for you to discover it. If you don't know where to start. Start exactly where you are. Make a list of the things that matter to you. Make a list of the things that you love. Make a list of the things that you want and that make you feel alive. That will help you get in touch with yourself and it will open the conversation you need to have. Ask yourself hard questions about life and what it means to you? Reflect on those answers. Spend time alone. Mediate. Stare at the waves in the sea. Give yourself the opportunity to Listen. And soon enough you will start hearing that voice with no sound.

But like all things in life.  If you do not try and if you do not practice -- you will never succeed. 

 

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