Radical Gratitude: A Guide to Transform Hardships

"Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie

Sitting in a coffee shop in Lincoln Road on a bright and sunny day I received a call from my aunt stating, “ Your Mom just had a seizure she is not looking well, I am scared she is not going to make it.” At that moment, everything started to feel as if it was operating in slow motion, my heart began to race, and I could barely breathe. My aunt continued, “Hurry and get here get on the first flight you can.” My mind began to race, and I immediately started to visualize the worst and thoughts began to cross my mind like wildfire such as “She is going to die,” “You won't be able to say goodbye,” “You should have been there.”

Hearing those words from my aunt I had to choose if I was going to believe in my thoughts of fear or gratitude. I knew that this was where I had to put into practice everything I have learned about gratitude. As the anxiety became prevalent in my mind and body, I started to make a shift. I began to think, “I am grateful that my mom is alive now,” “I am grateful that she is at the hospital and is being taken care of.” Shortly after changing my thoughts, I bought a ticket and started heading home to pack my bags and drive to the airport. Thinking thoughts of gratitude, of course, did not mean that I was happy or feeling good it just allowed me to see clearly and to make decisions to get me to where I needed to be. As I arrived to New York and walked in the hospital, I realized that it was a privilege for me to be able to get on a plane and get to my mother side. I felt gratitude for the fact that she had the luxury of having great doctors, nurses, and staff help her and take care of her. The same applies to everyday life; it is a privilege to have electricity, water, and food to feed our bodies. The more you practice this you will find endless things to feel grateful for.

After this experience, it has helped me feel gratitude on a deeper level than before. Life is challenging with its twist and turns, as many of us will learn. At times we focus so much on what is going wrong and what we need to change that we forget to appreciate the little things in life. Too often we spend our moments together complaining and in the thoughts of self-pity, sadness, and defeat. However, if we want to live radical lives, we must learn to focus on our blessings instead of our troubles. Of course, it’s not easy to do this especially when you experience something for the millionth time, or you’re on the verge of losing a loved one, or life feels as if everything is working against you. But life is not about making changes only if they are comfortable.

Developing the muscle of gratitude is like going to the gym it takes time and practice. As you start to make this change, you will feel uncomfortable, and your mind will struggle with this new way of thinking. How do we begin to live a life of radical gratitude? By starting our days with magnified appreciation. Some people pray and give thanks; I start my day by writing a list of at least ten things I am grateful for. However, you choose to practice gratitude is up to you and the more you do this; the more it becomes a habit. It starts to become your way of being, and you will find yourself not just doing this in the morning but also going through your day giving thanks.

Gratitude transforms your life and works as alchemy in situations of defeat. As I mentioned before, it is not easy, and it never gets easy, but you will be able to enjoy moments to the fullest because you appreciate the fact that you’re even alive. Truth is we will not be here forever, and as we know this intellectually, we must remember this in our hearts.

Years ago when I started this practice, I was experiencing heartbreak and found myself constantly complaining about it. When I read on the Internet about living with gratitude, I started to make my morning gratitude list daily.  Now, it is the way that I deal with everything in life. Start today by writing down all the blessings in your life and express appreciation to those you love while you can. Watch as your days start to feel lighter and next time you face hardship elevate your mind by thinking thoughts of appreciation.  Spend your days in radical gratitude and you’ll see how life will offer you more blessings than you could have ever imagined.

Mindfulmess vs. Mindfulness

mind·ful·mess

noun

1. a state of being unconscious or unaware of something 

2. a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the past events and the ones that have yet to come. 

3. Feeling frustrated or disappointed by one's feelings, thoughts, or reactions. 

4. Reacting to moments or events that have already occurred.

mind·ful·ness

noun

1. a state of being conscious or aware of something

2. a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment

3. Calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

4. Moment by moment awareness in the present. 

Which are you? Lately, I must say I've been more of a 'mindful-mess'. As I am currently adapting to a new home, new people, unusual circumstances and different ideals. I have become more and more aware of my abrupt need to make judgements, my irritability at almost everything and a sense of anxiety about things that have not yet occurred. I’ll be honest, for the longest time I thought I had mastered the art of being mindful, but the recent influx of unusual circumstances have proven me otherwise!

Gone are the days that I paused before I responded as if I couldn't understand what you said. Gone are the days when I walked around taking it all in like it was the first day of spring. Gone are the days where I felt like I could see the future and clearly understand all things. What has happened? Where has my mindfulness gone? Why is my mind such a mess? These questions have begun to oscillate in my head.

Now, be aware that although I may not be as mindful as I once was, the fact that I can acknowledge the lack therein is mindful in itself. So ask yourself these questions: Do you realise when your being mindful? Do you realise when your mind is more of a mess? Are you able to catch yourself in those moments and recognise its not your best?

If your answer is yes. Then you have known what mindfulness is. In fact, we all have. You see, mindfulness is a basic human function that has become not so basic due to all the distractions of the world. As you may already know, mindfulness is rooted in Buddhism and it is considered one of the oldest traditions ever practiced. Back in the day, Buddha believed that mindfulness should be part of everyday life and he believed that it was a key for gaining deep wisdom. Wisdom about life, purpose, people and most importantly wisdom about yourself! 

Although, this idea of being aware of the reality of things in the present moment has had its peaks here and there since the 1970s, it is not just a trend, it has been around for thousands of years and will probably be around for many more. Therefore, it is important for us to be aware of our mindfulness versus our 'mindful-mess' so that we can be fully present in the here and now rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.

Being mindful is a moment-by-moment awareness in the present moment that can be gained or lost depending on us. Yes, like all things in life being mindful takes practice and it takes a lot of work on our behalf. We have to choose to be mindful everyday in anyway we can. You can practice being mindful as you're eating, as you're walking, as you're taking a shower or as you're driving. Use the sensations of breathing as your anchor to the present moment and go from there. Little by little build up on your sensory experience and learn to take them in one by one as they occur. If your not sure where to start read my blog on 'How to be Mindful' for help. 

And, if you are not sure where you lie on a mindfulness vs. 'mindful-mess' scale take this test. Become aware of where you are in your mindfulness and feel free to share your results in the comments section below.

Have You Ever Contemplated Moving to an Island & Leaving it all Behind?

Well, I have and not only did I contemplate it, but I did it for FIVE years. Pretty wild, I know. I heard it all the time, especially from my friends still living in major cities like LA and NYC.

"What? Are you crazy? Your going to live there?' 

"Your staying longer?'

"When are you planning to come back to the real world?"

I still remember them asking, while I chuckled to myself from the  "non " real part of the world. What was so bad about leaving it all behind? What was I really leaving behind? Pollution? Stress? Unrealistic social ideals? Traffic? Small Talk? A concrete jungle? Instead, I feel I had gained things I would have never be able to find in a city. Like a piece of mind for example. You have any idea how hard those are to come across these days with all the distractions a city has to offer! I also gained some fresh clean tropical air! I bet you didn't see that coming. Yes, my fake part of the world had some really fresh air. And to top it all off I gained TIME! This I must say was one of my most prized possession. I'll get into the importance of time in a later post. But,  to gain time in a literal sense is something priceless. I gained time to think, sit, breathe, cook my own meals, explore new hobbies, watch the sunset and rise.  I gained time for times' own sake. 

Moving to an Island and leaving it all behind was the biggest gain of my life. Now, I won't lie. It is not an easy thing to do and it does require some patience.  You see, Island people, because they have so much time-- they tend to take their time-- with everything. From New York City to Dominican Republic the time it took to get a cup of coffee in a coffee shop could drive someone mad. But 'Hey' in exchange for some fresh air-- its okay. You learn to deal. It was hot living on an island so who needs hot coffee anyway...

Most importantly, I must say living on an island really allowed me to stop, think, reflect and figure out what I wanted most from life. Something that I had a very hard time doing in a city. I feel like I was never really doing what I wanted to do.  Instead, I feel like I was always doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing (according to the media/masses). In a city your perception of reality is really distorted.  Your start believing that the things portrayed on television are real. You convince yourself  that success only means money and fame. That people are means to an end and that conversations should be a calculated exchange of boast and praise.

Done were the days where I identified with the social ideals of no one I really knew but myself. By moving to an island I decided to redefine the social constructs that had so indiscreetly hindered me and my true potential. I learned to believe in myself, value my own beliefs, appreciate time, nature and life.  And, with that,  I realized that I had my own definition of success and they had nothing to do with money or fame. 

Amozonic Fruits That Will Change Your Life

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Did you know that Peru is the country with the most national dishes? And that they have 3000 different potatoes and thousand of fruits and vegetables that don’t exist anywhere else in the world. Perhaps the Amazon plays an important part in the country’s great variety, biodiversity and growth. Due to the density of its vegetation and close proximity of the trees, the amazon over thousands of years has been able to form a strong and large interconnected network. If you didn't know— now you know— trees “talk”. And by talk I mean they communicate underground through a dense channels of roots and veins that extends out in all directions. They also help each other out; exchange nutrients, water and vitamins similar to knocking on your neighbors door for some extra sugar. Its truly magical! 

These are some pretty “Amazonic” fruits that I have discovered.

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LUCUMA tastes as if a sweet potatoes and maple syrup had a child. This subtropical fruit is native to Peru and is known as well as "the last gold of the Incas". Images of it have been found on the ceramics of ancient Peruvian cultures. Thats pretty “Amazonic” if you ask me.

Note: Contains beta carotene, iron, zinc, vitamin B3, calcium, and protein. Lucuma oil helps support wounds by activating healing factors within the skin.

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CHIRIMOYA in English that translates to Custard Apples. Now imagine that these heart shaped apples taste like a banana,pineapple, peach and strawberry milk shake. The only down side to this fruit is that it has about 40 seeds inside that make devouring this “Amazonic" treat a very slow process!

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CAMU CAMU is native to the Peruvian Amazon Rainforest this fruit has a taste similar to a sour cheery and lime. It is ideal for juices, jams, ice creams or yogurts and super high in Vitamin C content, 50 times that of an orange! 

Note: In Peru natural medicines containing Camu Camu are used as antioxidants and anti-depressant as well as for stress relieve and the treatment of flu symptoms.

AGUAJE grow in Moriche palm trees native to the tropical Amazon regions of Peru. These fruits have an outside texture very similar to that of a pineapple except they are reddish-purple-brown in color. Inside a thin layer of a firm, yellowish-orange pulp covers a large seed and can be eaten raw.

Note: The pulp of aguajes is extremely rich in essential fatty acids and has a high Vitamin a and C content. The oil extracted from the Moriche Palm fruit is called Buriti and is used to treat burns.

TUMBO looks like a banana hijacked a passion fruit. and, like the passion fruit tends to be quiet acidic and tart, therefore seldomly it is eaten raw. 

Note: It is low in calories, and yet is rich in minerals like calcium, phosphorus, and iron and vitamins A, B, and C. The tumbo is also known for having therapeutic properties; it works against kidney stones, urinary tract problems, and stomach aches. It is abundant with vitamin C, an anti-oxidant which safeguards you from the harm free-radicals cause, avoiding premature aging as well as keeping the immune system powerful.

THE TUNA also known as cactus fruit or prickly pear thankfully tastes nothing like Tuna! instead, the bright red purple insides that it contains many small seeds tastes more like a juicy, extra sweet watermelon! 

Note: The tuna is believed to lower the cholesterol and blood sugar level as well as having antioxidant properties.

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PEPINO DULCE taste like a sweet cucumber and it is native to the temperate Andean regions of Peru. Pepinos have a flavor of a combination of honey melons and cucumber and are very tasty. 

Note: They can be eaten raw and often used in fruit salads, breakfast cereals or as dessert.

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AGUAYMANTO also known as Tomatito Silvestre, Tomatillo, Capulí or in the US as Peruvian cherry or cape gooseberry. The fruit is native to high altitude areas in Peru where it still grows wild and has been cultivated at least since Inca times. This cherry like fruit although it easily disguises under its none edible paper like skin has a sweet and sour taste.

Note: This fruit contains high levels of Vitamin A, B and C and is believed to have anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties.

DRESS ABSTRACT: A Fashion Statement That Matters

Did you know that 14 million tons of clothes per year end up in US landfills or incinerators? Yes, that's 14 million tons of unwanted clothes that people no longer need or want just tossed away. That's about 80 pounds per person, according to Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).  However, unlike banana peels, old clothes don't compost, even if they are made out of natural fibers. Most clothes go through many different processes before they become the clothes you wear on your back. They are bleached, dyed and printed on using many chemicals. Once they reach our landfills they may threaten the groundwater and if they are incinerated they release toxins into the air. Who would have thought that keeping up with the latest trends could be so toxic.

Fast fashion and cheap clothes are imposing new and unforeseen problems not only to the world, but also to our health. What if instead of buying clothes that wear and tear, you could buy a timeless piece that would never need to be thrown away and that would transcend all fashion trends for generations to come? Not a bad idea right? Well thats exactly what professional artist Nima Veiseh had in mind when he designed his new brand Dress Abstract in 2014. As a former doctoral researcher in Design and Sustainable Economics, it became clear to Nima during his studies that there were two important opportunities to help sustainability in the clothing industry.

http://magazine.ivy.com/2015/12/nima-veiseh/

Firstly, he would design clothes that would never need to be thrown away. Secondly, he would do that by employing neglected refugee talent within the US. Nima believes that immigrants are the foundation of America and to ignore them and their talents would be counter productive for a sustainable future. Therefore, when you Dress Abstract, you're actually helping displaced artists and hard-working refugees build a life in America. Since then, Dress Abstract has become the brand where art meets fashion in a new stylish sustainable way.

"Clothes is just another canvas," Nima claims.

Each piece is actually a fabulous work of art that has been carefully transformed into clothing. Then they are numbered, inspected, signed and given a Certificate to guarantee their authenticity. And, if you ever get tired of an item and feel the need to throw it away, they will send you a free shipping label to return it for a gift certificate towards your next purchase. Now that's a fashion statement I think anyone can work with! 

If your interested in viewing some items by Dress Abstract visit our Boutique where we have carefully selected timeless sustainable products for you. Shop now and dress like it Matters!

Meditation as a Tool

Meditation is spending time in quiet thought for relaxation or religious purposes according to the dictionary. The history of mediation is rich and it's many forms vast. It's also one of the tools needed to maintain wellness. 

You only need to search the web and find what type or types fit your needs and lifestyle. I practice several different styles of meditation because different needs require it. Meditation seems like the buzz word of the moment but I first encountered it's benefits while in high school many years ago. I grew up in New York and attended high school in the West Village of New York City.  They offered a course in Yoga and I signed up immediately. At the beginning and end of every class we meditated. At the time I didn't have a clue as to it's benefits nor it's absolute necessity. 

Over time I've developed what is called a meditation practice. Meaning, I meditate twice daily morning and night everyday for a half hour each time. My goal is to be able to mediate for up to an hour each time. I also, when the need arises practice mini meditations throughout the day. Mini meditations are focused breathing and mantra techniques that can be done anywhere. For example breathing in for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of seven and finally exhaling for a count of eight. It reduces your stress level almost immediately by allowing for the blood to flow to every part of our body. With a mini mantra meditation,  I usually repeat a mantra while being conscious of my breath; I breathe "in love and peace and I breathe out anxiety and fear". I will do each of these mini meditations for approximately three to five minutes, just repeating the meditations till I am mindful of the actual moment and the stress level has been reduced. 

In my previous post I mentioned how I experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks. I overcame them through meditation. There are many types of meditation but what I found was practicing "I Am" meditation and "Guided" meditations allowed for me to gain control back over my life. With "I am" meditations I could do it anywhere and anytime as needed. I wrote down a list of "I am's"; I am healthy, I am strong, I am loved, I am not alone, etc and committed it to memory but when I couldn't focus I just opened my journal and I read it out loud over and over again. "I am", meditation would stop the attack. With "Guided Meditation" I needed to be home and lying down. It helped me immensely to be taken away via a calm and assuring voice to focus on a specific scenario. That scenario for me is always a beach scene and the crashing of the waves on the surf. "Guided" meditation recharged me so I would get my strength and energy back. With panic attacks, everything begins to race, your breathing becomes shallow,  flight or fight kicks and before you know it you're completely wiped out and that's hoping you didn't rush yourself to the hospital because you thought you were dying. In my case the episodes were so severe I would hyperventilate which has a list of it's own horrific ailments. 

My meditation time is something I absolutely rely on to keep me going throughout the day. It's also something that grows continually. It's not easy to quiet the mind when it's filled with to do lists, time constraints, sleepiness and all of life's noises good and bad. We all need to recharge, recuperate and regroup. Meditation re-charges your battery so when life comes at you, you're capable of being resilient. 

I meditate because I need to clear my mind.  I need to shut down so I can rebuild my mind in a healthy and authentic way daily.  It takes time and I am still learning and I pray I always will be. In order to maintain a healthy mind, body and soul connection meditation is key. 
 

If you could do anything you wanted to do & get paid for it, what would you do?

Do you ever fear that maybe you don't have what it takes to follow your dreams? Do you fear that you don't know where to start? Have you ever danced around with the idea that maybe you were destined to be doing something else but are not sure what that could be?

Its okay. I've been there too, many times. 

The place where you feel you don't belong, but you are at because you don't really know what other place you can be without risking it all. And, when I say all, I mean security-- your financial security to be exact. Lets face it. Most of us chain ourselves to our jobs because of money. We need money to live, in fact, we need money to do anything. Last fall I was in Europe and I kid you not, I needed money to use the public restroom in many places! I know, I couldn't believe it either. Imagine I was really desperate and had no change. What has this world come to! Seriously, I get it, money is unfortunately very important and we need it. Especially if you tend to have a small bladder like me!

Now ask yourself this question:

"If you could do anything you wanted to do and get paid for it, what would you do?"

I remember my yoga teacher once upon a time asked us this question prior to a class and told us to meditate on our answer throughout the class. Back then I was working an 8 to 3 job with a ocean front view on a island in the Caribbean, not that bad if you asked me. However, it was not where my mind was wandering to when she asked the question. "If I could do anything I want and get paid to do it, what would I do? What would I dooooooo.......?" I thought as I straightened out my warrior pose and gazed out into the abyss just beyond my hand. 

In my head I started listing things that I really enjoyed doing...Like drinking wine for example. "No no no! Come on, be serious." I told myself. So then I thought, well I really love the beach and I like to sit in silence, listen to the waves and meditate. I also like to have deep conversations about the meaning of life. I like to be healthy and research new wellness approaches. I like to share my findings and give advice. I also like to share my point of view, sometimes whether you ask for it or not. So "How could I make a living from sun gazing, health seeking and expert advice?" I thought.

Then it occurred to me, to make a living off the things you like is authentic and real-- people seek out authenticity. They seek out real experiences that make them come alive. I realized that the things I loved to do were the things that made me feel most alive. Therefore, if I could share those things with others and inspire them to do the same, then that would be the job for me. 

Its funny really that my idea to break away from for the corporate paradigm began like this. However, it goes to show you that if you put your mind to it, anything is possible and not only is it possible, but it is attainable! If you truly believe in your heart that you could and should be doing something better then you are today-- find a way to do it! Life is short, make your presence felt, be different and be brave. Ask yourself; What are you good at? What do you love? What about what you love can you share with others? Why would they love it? How can you make the things you love your business and way of life. Be brave, you will be surprised at what you can attain!