How to be Mindful

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, a pioneer in the scientific study of mindfulness, mindfulness is "paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally". Practicing mindfulness is about controlling the way you think about the world. It is about learning to live in the present moment because you choose to! 

Step 1: Pay Attention On Purpose

Okay. Imagine having a cup of very hot tea, filled right up to the top. Now maybe this has already happened to you, but imagine having to transport that tea to someone else. Lets say across the room. In that instant you are paying attention on purpose, I am sure! You become fully conscious of what you are doing, because you are aware that the water in the cup is hot and that any miss-step could be a critical one. Therefore you proceed with the utmost caution. In those 30 seconds it takes you to get the tea cup to another person you have experienced full and utter complete mindfulness. Unless of course, the person you're giving the tea to is your boss. In that case you might be worried about the future of your job if your were to spill it on them.

However, my point is that 'Paying Attention On Purpose' is focusing on what you're doing at any given moment so that you can do whatever it is that you're doing in the best possible way. It doesn't matter what it is, when you do something mindfully you are doing it fully: fully focused, fully aware and with purpose.

Its easy for us to get distracted in our heads from time to time or get lost in our feelings about things that have already happened. It is easy to worry about the future and stress about our work. However, being able to recognize when your mind begins to wander and bringing your attention back to what you want to focus on-- is the first step to being mindful!

Recap:

1. Become conscious of where your focus lies

2. Become aware of your actions

3. Give your actions purpose

Step 2: Be in the Present Moment

This is fairly straightforward, however it tends to be very hard to follow, I can attest to that myself. Replaying things that have already occurred in my head over and over is a part-time job for me. It's important to catch ourselves in those moments of irrationality and understand that no matter how much we dwell on the past -- nothing will change. No amount of 'reminisation' (this could possible be a new word I just invented) can change the things that have already occurred!

"Its done and over with sweetheart so just get with the program."

Is something I must tell myself about every half a milli second, as my mind wanders from one past event to another trying to recreate how I could have done things differently.

"If only I didn't tell that person to go to hell...Maybe things would have been different..."

And they probably would have been different, but there is nothing you can do about it now. Snapping myself back to reality is my forte, but only long enough until my mind wanders on to something that still has yet to occur like:

"What am I going to do.. I want 3 children. But if I have three children most hotel rooms only accommodate four. Then what happens to the third...? Do we get two rooms?"

It happens to all of us. We get caught up in the future or our idea of what the future will be like. Now, I'm not saying to never think of the future and go live as a nomad letting the stars guide your way.  It okay to have a plan, in fact, its very important to set goals for yourself. However, once they are set, you must come back to the present moment. You can't dwell in your thoughts and hopes for too long, because you will never be able to achieve the things you want to unless you embrace the thing that already are. To live in the present moment is to live more purposefully in the directions of your dreams. 

Recap

1. Don't live in the past

2. Avoid getting caught up in the future

Step 3: Practice Non-Judgement

You will realize that as you become more aware of the present moment, you will also become more aware of things that maybe you would have never noticed before. Perhaps those things involve people around you or even your own emotions. Its important to observe all the new things that fall into your range of awareness without judgement, categorization or analyzation.

Learn to observe your surroundings objectively. Don't look down on others, don't question things and most importantly don't become what you feel. Although it is important to acknowledge what you feel, it is essential to be able to let them go as well. Embrace the essence of your feelings and emotions but do so from an "outside looking in" kind of way. When you start to feel anger or sadness, register it, acknowledge what those emotions feel like, take mental notes, process them but then let them go. Think of yourself as your own patient. Once you have acknowledged your feelings objectively, use your breath to let them go. Don't cling to those feelings. Even the good ones. The only thing you should cling to during mindfulness is the awareness of your own existence- what you sense moment-by-moment.

Keep in mind that not all will choose to be mindful and in your practice you will come across people that are caught up in their own negativity. Empathize with them, notice how that makes you feel, notice where they are on their journey and keep moving along with your own. Imagine a dog goes into a restaurant and everyone is eating. It goes up to the first table and it gets shooed away while the people say "you stupid dog". Then the dog goes to the next table with the same enthusiasm and they say the same. Like this dog, don't let the outside circumstances or negativity steal your peace or distract you from your journey. Continue on until you find the table where they pat you on the head and give you a treat. Don't expect everyone to adopt the same perspectives as you. Practicing mindfulness is a personal journey and letting go of judgements includes not judging others for their lack of mindfulness. Focus on your own growth and progress, become an example for others to follow.

Recap:

1. Let go of the need to judge, categorize & analyze.

2. Don't cling to negative or positive emotions.

3. Treat your feelings and experiences objectively

4. Be patient with others who are not as mindful as you have become.
 

Resilience the Beginning

Resilience is the capacity to recover from difficulties. To thrive despite the mess and chaos of life and also the beauty. To be resilient is something one has to want. No matter where you find yourself in the depth of despair or cloud 9 you have to be cognizant of life. You could be homeless, suffering abuse, newly in love or about to have a baby and a million other possibilities but if you loose sight of who you are and the dream you have for the life you want, you could find yourself broken and desperate. I've suffered the highs and lows of life. I've been homeless and destitute and I've been high on the mountain. 

A fall no matter where you land always hurts. Yes, some falls are further than others; the loss of a loved one, a terminal diagnosis, a breakup or a breakdown. Yes, I've visited all of these scenarios and I've hit rock bottom a number of times. Each time I've climbed back up those mountains over and over again sometimes on my hands and knees, because something inside of me would never give up. 

 That "something" I've learned changes at times but at its root is being selfless. Sounds simple I know. Don't be selfish and I won't need meds or suffer any longer, I can stop self-harming etc. Not exactly, but move out of your head and your own way and the possibilities are endless. This I know is true. Our minds are all capable of the same things. Our brains unless hindered by chemical imbalances we've brought on by ourselves or organic imbalances; can be reconstructed by holistic methods. 

I'm a firm believer in meditation and self-reflection. We must become self-aware and find empathy not only for ourselves but more importantly for others. We must live a life of gratitude. Several years ago I had hit what I thought was rockiest of bottoms. I was depressed, suffering from severe panic attacks and anxiety, I was bulimic, obese and self-harm was an activity I engaged in on a daily basis.

So, I did what all people do I sought out medical help. I went to a psychologist who in forty-five minutes and a co-pay wrote up a prescription; several in fact that turned me into a zombie. My senses were dulled, the light in my eyes was dulled, my soul stolen by an endless supply of prescription medications. My life was diminished and if I stayed this course agoraphobia was right around the corner. 

I knew something had to be better. I knew there had to be more for me and this blessing of life than living unhealthy and unhappy. With the aid of my brother we logged on to our computers and sought alternatives. What we came across was a wealth of knowledge and real sustainable options other than what was being offered to me at the time. 

I started to meditate. I didn't really understand how this could help but I  was ready and willing to try anything to get my life back; not only for myself but for the people I care about and the possibility of a more fulfilling life. That's where being selfless comes in. 

You must dig deep and find something to grab a hold of. What you grab hold of can be anything from a higher power, seeing a sunrise to someone or something you love. If none of those things are viable for you, then hold onto the possibility of what might come in the future. Hold on to hope and let that catapult you into health. I truly believe in a mind, body and soul connection. I believe one can not exist without the other. I believe in you and I believe in me. I know you can do it because  I have done it repeatedly. I'm not perfect! Falling and getting back up is living! I can also tell you that it does get easier after each fall. I continue to climb by using the tools that have worked in the past and new ones I've picked up along the way. 

So if you allow me, I would like to share those tools with you in upcoming posts. I would love to hear from you and I would also love to learn about any of the tools you've picked up along the way that has made you resilient in this thing called life. 
 

TED: Andy Puddicombe: All it takes is 10 mindful minutes

When is the last time you did absolutely nothing for 10 whole minutes? Not texting, talking or even thinking? Mindfulness expert Andy Puddicombe describes the transformative power of doing just that: Refreshing your mind for 10 minutes a day, simply by being mindful and experiencing the present moment. (No need for incense or sitting in uncomfortable positions.)

Things are not always how they appearance allow yourself the clarity to live in the present moment. You deserve it!

What is a Wellness Gypsy?

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Well, to start,  it is what it sounds like— A gypSea of all things wellness.

I believe that Wellness is a very personal discovery that demands much trial and error on many different things, both on a physical level as well as on an emotional and spiritual level. 

In today’s modern world of information we come across many new trends, ideas, theories, inventions, diets, therapies, exercises and/or ways of living that we sometimes find ourselves lost. At least, that was my experience when I started my wellness journey. I wasn't sure if I preferred yoga or Pilates or if I wanted to juice or be vegan. I dabbled with hundreds of diets, practices and ways of living until I realized I was indeed a Gypsy. A Wellness gypsy a always trying something new and exploring new experiences. Being lost for me was the best place to start because it allowed me to open my heart, mind and soul to all things without judgement. 

When you are lost you ask important questions, you allow yourself to be humble and curious of what will come next. Therefore, I invite you all to be Wellness Gypsies too. Be lost in your wellness search and try many things. Because what wellness means to one person could mean something completely different to someone else. It could even change for you throughout different times in your life.  It is dependent on your age, your goals, your needs, your strengths, your beliefs and your desires.  Wellness is relative and within its relativity it requires constant inner reflection of who we are and want to become. It requires a deep desire to be better than you were yesterday. 

Therefore, as I share my own personal wellness experience and journey, I hope it inspires you to do the same. Don't worry of where you are or what you know or don't know -- just be a Gypsy when it comes to wellness and you will soon discover the wellness within you!