Who are you really without the things you do daily? The clothes you wear? The things you buy? The people whom you choose to spend your time with? Who are you without your overloaded schedule? Your appointments? Your responsibilities to be a “successful” citizen of this world we live in that we have come to call life?
A great Stoic once said “Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of our life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day…”
Stoicism, for those who have not majored in philosophy, is considered a ideology of personal ethics. According to its teachings, we as social beings, can only find happiness in accepting the moment as it presents itself, by not allowing ourselves to be controlled by our desire for pleasure or our fear of pain.
Stoicism incorporates the practice of logic to provoke us to use our minds to understand the world around us and to do our part in nature's plan. By meditating on the contemplation of death the Stoics would train themselves to remain in the present moment. Back in the day, it was more than just a set of beliefs or ethical claims, it was considered more of a way of life.
I know the truth of death is an overwhelming reality for us to wrap our heads around. The fact that you are a mortal being, that will some day cease to exist? It’s hard to swallow. Even as I write it my face cringes.
But my intention here is not so much to focus on the reality of our death, but instead on the power of our life.
“Memento Mori” is a Latin phrase that means “remember that you will die,” “remember that you are mortal”. Now I understand that sounds morbid and as millennials the last thing we want is to be thinking too much about death, especially with today’s culture of youth glorification and the perpetuating consumeristic lie that you can stay young forever. The thought literally sits at odds with the comfortable narrative we have surrounded ourselves with.
However, the truth is, that it is a thought that we all need to be reminded of. The importance in this thought is not so much to focus on the end of things, but instead to focus on the NOW of life. The immense infinite now that we have each and everyday.
This phrase should force you to focus on what you can do NOW, with the life that you have at this given moment.
The HERE and NOW are the things that matter most.
You should be constantly asking yourself: How can I make the here and now really count? How am I letting fear stop me? How am I letting my past weigh me down?
Meditating and acknowledging your morality is only depressing if you miss the point.
Look at it as a way to find perspective in life. See it as a way to identify your priorities, your meaning, and what it is that you want most.
Use this idea as way to see life as a gift-- don't let yourself get lost in the trivial insignificant ordeals of the everyday human existence.
Don't let your vanity consume you.
Realize that you have a certain amount of time to live, so live life in a certain kind of way. Don’t let transient things become distractions. Don’t let drama consume you. Don’t let fear stop you and most of all to let your time escape you. The only truth you need to become conscious of is that life is precious, it is short and you have the power to make the most of it now.
Here are some ways to use “Memento Mori” to seize your life:
Live life with purpose each and everyday. Do things because they are aligned with who you want to be.
Stop making excuses. You never know what is or could be if you don’t try.
Choose not to be a victim. Remember that you are always winning, even when you are losing you have won a new lesson or point of view that you otherwise would not have gotten.
Stop comparing yourself to others, your life is your journey, no one else has to understand it and no one else can live it.
Take action now in anyway, big or small steps count.
Let go of the past that is weighing you down and don’t let it affect your future.
Rethink what your priorities are.
Mediate fully on what you want for yourself and why you want those things.
Finally, as this year comes to and end and a new one begins I invite you to think about all the new ways you can live the life you were meant to live -- today. No one has a better way of provoking this thought other than our dear Steve Jobs, when he reminds us in his famous commencement speech; "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
Maktub means “It is written” in Arabic.
Recently, I came across this word in the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and I paused in my tracks as I thought about what that actually meant. It is written -- IT IS WRITTEN! What is written I thought? My life? My history? My future? And, why? Why is it written?
What is written!
And here I was I as read these words out loud. It is written. I finally understood. We are written. Who we are. What we will be. Who we will become. It written and it is written because as we live we are writing it. Step by step, minute by minute, moment by moment. We determine our destiny all the time every time.
I think that is the hardest thing for people to wrap there heads around because to think that we are in full control of who we are and what we want is scary, even overwhelming. I mean seriously WE HAVE THE POWER, THE ABILITY TO DO AND BE WHAT EVER AND WHO EVER WE WANT at any moment, at any time-- all the time.
This is a huge responsibility. And as Pauolo puts it is our "Personal Legend". We are in charge of writing the story of our lives. And that takes a lot of personal will power and determination. It takes a lot of intention. It takes a lot consciousness, it takes power, it takes discipline, and amongst everything else it takes a lot of consistency. Creating and living the life that you want is not an easy job. If it was we would have a lot more happier, more inspired people in the world. Everyone would be absolutely satisfied with who they are and what they have accomplished. They would be content with their current condition. They would be above all STRIVING! But now, correct me if I'm wrong but that is not the reality of the world. So many of us struggle with our current conditions, so many of us are unhappy with the state of our lives that we become blinded to the fact that we are actually the ones in charge. We are the one that can make the greatest difference that we seek.
By now I think that I have made my point. Its your life, you are in control of it. You are literally the author of your the story in the process of living it. It is that simple. You have the pen in your hand and you are also the publisher.
So now how do we write a great F%$# story is the question. I think this is the hardest part because we can all easily identify the things that we do not like, or that we do not want, but can we identify the ones that we do? That is the first step to writting litterally the story of your life.
1. Identify/ Define what it is that you want.
Its a lot easier said then done, but yes you need to do get to know yourself sweetheart. You need to sit alone on the beach and think about who you are. What you like? Why you like it? What you want? Why you want it? What does it mean to you to have it? What does it mean to you to not have it? Once you have identified the things you want and why you are ready for the next step.
2. Become motivated.
This step should naturally happen if you have properly identified the latter. Once you know what you want and WHY you really want it, you will become intrinsically motivated towards it. The 'WHY' here is the key. You have to get down deep, down to the deeper why of WHY you want something. It can't be based on extrinsic representations. For example you can’t want to lose weight to look good. Or you can't want to want to be successful to travel. You have to go deeper. Why do you want to look good? What does looking good mean to you? What does that feel like? Why do you want to travel? Where do you want to go? What do you want to see? What does seeing that mean to you?
3. Work it.
This is the hardest step because you literally got to move yourself to do something. You need to get out there and do what it is that you need to do to get what it is that you need get. It is that simple. Stop thinking about what others think just do, do, DO! Do you every day. Be selfish. Tell others "Hey sorry I got plans" even if you dont. Personally I make appointments with myself to get things done. That's just how I work. If I've penciled myself in for myself-- "I'm booked. Sorry, Bye!" Making appointments, plans, setting goals are the key here. You need to make a plan, any plan. Even if you have to plan to make the plan --do that! Doing one thing everyday in the directions of what you have identified in step 1 is the key to creating the life that you want. You can even plan a lazy day or "I'm gonna go out drinking day" the point is to plan it all. Make an agenda and then..........
4. STICK TO IT
This is the most important step of them all. Consistency is Key. We can want and do a lot of things in life but if we are not consistent we will never get anything at all. We will be writing a really dull confusing story. You need to be consistent. Make it work, over, and over again. And if you ever get lost go back to step 1. Without consistency I'm sorry but your not anything at all. Consistency literally defines who you are, how your known, how you are remembered, and what you ultimately achieve.
Questions are an important part of life. If you wish to live a spiritual and mindful life you must never cease to ask questions. Spirituality is an on-going conversation with you and your soul. If you haven´t started you must. I have come up with some questions to help you get the conversation started. During your conversation remember to stop, to listen and to reflect. Don't worry if you do not have all the answers, with time some will come and others will simply arise. Sometimes the questions themselves invoke you to seek out their answers and change your whole perception. Be patient with yourself. Namaste.
What does soul mean to me?
Why do I exist?
What am I grateful for?
How do I define happiness?
What do I truly wish to achieve in my lifetime?
How would I would I like to be remembered?
How often do I let my anger or emotions control what I say and do?
Am I proud of who I am and who I am becoming?
What makes me sad or disappointed about myself?
What is my deepest fear?
Do I spend time alone? Do I enjoy my own company?
If I could do anything and be paid for it, what would I do?
What inspires me?
Who am I really?
Why do I love myself?
Why do people love me?
What is my deepest intention?
Do I offend people or make them feel important?
Do I spend time in nature and reflect often? why? why, not?
Am I a wise person?
Do I care deeply about others?
Growing up in a religious household forces you to ask deep and meaningful questions. After many years away from home, I took my questions somewhere else. In college I got a master in Philosophy and learned about many different world religions and their belief systems. Some I loved, while others I thought were too radical. I picked and chose what I liked from each religion and made it my own. What I realized then, is that spirituality had nothing to do with religion and had everything to do with You.
I don't argue that religion is spiritual and spirituality could be considered religious. However, the fact that one tends to be more personal and private while the other incorporates public rituals and organized doctrines is where I drew the line. Although I feared that maybe I was wrong by not following a specific religion or adhering to a certain dogma. Something inside me felt right. And, that is what Spirituality ultimately is! It is the little feeling inside that you know something is right. Its a voice without words. If you have felt that before that is your religion. Your intuition is your spirituality and tells you subconsciously what is meant for you.
Don't be afraid to feel things. Discover the voice inside you because it is waiting for you to discover it. If you don't know where to start. Start exactly where you are. Make a list of the things that matter to you. Make a list of the things that you love. Make a list of the things that you want and that make you feel alive. That will help you get in touch with yourself and it will open the conversation you need to have. Ask yourself hard questions about life and what it means to you? Reflect on those answers. Spend time alone. Mediate. Stare at the waves in the sea. Give yourself the opportunity to Listen. And soon enough you will start hearing that voice with no sound.
But like all things in life. If you do not try and if you do not practice -- you will never succeed.
http://apchan.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Away-348827268
How many of you cling to your feelings? Maybe you hold a grudge or always remember an embarrassing situation? Why do you do it? Why? Does reminding yourself of the unpleasant past do anything for your future? Does it foster any good to your present now?
The answer is NO! In fact, it actually debilitates you even more. Believe it or not, holding on to the things from your past--hold you back. Never truly being able to close the doors of your past, prevent ones from fully opening. If you constantly remind yourself of that asshole who broke your heart, or that argument you had with your mom, or that time you tried something and failed-- you will never allow yourself the time to heal. Its like getting a cut on the tip of your finger. If you constantly rub it or bump it into stuff it will never get better. Instead, it actually makes doing anything in the present moment really difficult and vexatious. Like this cut, your past experiences, affect the things your able to accomplish in the now.
They become part of you and part of how you see and experience everything. The negative thing you chose to hold on to from your past become part of your story and before you know it, you begin to internalize those thoughts and feelings. Do you ever wonder why you always tend to have the same kind of relationships with the opposite sex? Do you tend to make the same assumptions or jump to the same conclusions? Maybe your always the one to be on the defense when you talk with your mother? Do you hold yourself back from trying new things because the last time you did you failed? The past that you cling to becomes the present that create.
Instead of welcoming new and exciting possibilities, lets say you become somewhat jaded. Yes, the things you chose to cling to mold the reality you come to live in. Eventually without even realizing it you even start using your past experience as justifications for your current situation. The things that you cling to hold you accountable to those experiences, and instead of seeing the world anew ---you come to see the world with a little less light. And that dimmed out view of the world in turn comes to affects how you interact with the world and ultimately becomes your justification for how things turn out. What you don't realize in the greater scheme of things, is that, had you not held on to the past, the present would be full of light and therefore how you interact with it would be different and what you received wouldn't be the same! That is why letting go of anything negative must go! Like it never even happened! Allow yourself some amnesia from the negatives in your past. There is no need to haul around all those bad experiences if they don't serve you, don't allow them to linger on.
Letting go is not as hard as it may seem. Bad things happen to everyone. And as far as I know, we can't change them, we can't travel back in time, so why continue to perpetuate them? Just accept the things that have happened to you in their entirety and accept that there is nothing you can do to change them and then choose to let them go. Once you’re able to move on and close old doors, new doors will open up, better opportunities will arise, and, most of all, you’ll have a better story to tell. A story that instead of holding you back, is pushing you forwards!
Your mind can be your biggest enemy or your best friend. Learn how to let go of things that hold you back through writing in my blog post "Free yourself Write".
We all know that spending time outdoors is good for you on both a physical and mental level, but the benefits of spending time specifically at the beach have just been revealed.
That incredible feeling of peace and calmness that you experience at the beach is now being referred to as “blue space.” That’s what scientists have dubbed the effect that the combination of soothing smells and sounds of water have on your brain. The blue space is enough to make you feel at ease in a hypnotic sort of way.
When you notice how relaxed you feel at the beach, it’s not just all in your head. Science says that it’s a change in the way your brain reacts to its environment leaving you feeling happy, relaxed and reenergized.
Overall, this blue space effects you in four different ways.
Water is nature’s cure to life’s stressors. It’s full of naturally occurring positive ions that are known for having the ability to make you feel at ease. So whether you jump in for a swim or simply dip your toes in the water, you’re sure to experience a feeling of relaxation. That’s one instant mood booster we could all use from time to time!
Feeling like you’re in a creative rut? Well, scientists now believe that the solution to this is the beach. Being in blue space allows you to clear your head and approach problems or projects in a more creative way. Much like meditation, the beach triggers a feeling of calmness that allows you to tune everything else out and reflect on what it is you’ve been needing to focus on.
Much like the effects that the beach has on feelings of stress and creative ruts, the beach also provides some relief to feelings of depression. The hypnotic sound of the waves in combination with the sight and smells of the beach can put you into a meditative space. In turn, you can clear your mind and reflect on life in a safe space away from the chaos of your daily life.
And that perspective is going to change for the better! Nature in general has always been a factor in healthy happy lives, but the beach in particular is so good for the soul.
So grab the SPF and pack a picnic, because it’s time to head to the beach!
