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self awareness

Resilience the Beginning

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Resilience the Beginning

Resilience is the capacity to recover from difficulties. To thrive despite the mess and chaos of life and also the beauty. To be resilient is something one has to want. No matter where you find yourself in the depth of despair or cloud 9 you have to be cognizant of life. You could be homeless, suffering abuse, newly in love or about to have a baby and a million other possibilities but if you loose sight of who you are and the dream you have for the life you want, you could find yourself broken and desperate. I've suffered the highs and lows of life. I've been homeless and destitute and I've been high on the mountain. 


A fall no matter where you land always hurts. Yes, some falls are further than others; the loss of a loved one, a terminal diagnosis, a breakup or a breakdown. Yes, I've visited all of these scenarios and I've hit rock bottom a number of times. Each time I've climbed back up those mountains over and over again sometimes on my hands and knees, because something inside of me would never give up. 


 That "something" I've learned changes at times but at its root is being selfless. Sounds simple I know. Don't be selfish and I won't need meds or suffer any longer, I can stop self-harming etc. Not exactly, but move out of your head and your own way and the possibilities are endless. This I know is true. Our minds are all capable of the same things. Our brains unless hindered by chemical imbalances we've brought on by ourselves or organic imbalances; can be reconstructed by holistic methods. 


I'm a firm believer in meditation and self-reflection. We must become self-aware and find empathy not only for ourselves but more importantly for others. We must live a life of gratitude. Several years ago I had hit what I thought was rockiest of bottoms. I was depressed, suffering from severe panic attacks and anxiety, I was bulimic, obese and self-harm was an activity I engaged in on a daily basis.


So, I did what all people do I sought out medical help. I went to a psychologist who in forty-five minutes and a co-pay wrote up a prescription; several in fact that turned me into a zombie. My senses were dulled, the light in my eyes was dulled, my soul stolen by an endless supply of prescription medications. My life was diminished and if I stayed this course agoraphobia was right around the corner. 


I knew something had to be better. I knew there had to be more for me and this blessing of life than living unhealthy and unhappy. With the aid of my brother we logged on to our computers and sought alternatives. What we came across was a wealth of knowledge and real sustainable options other than what was being offered to me at the time. 


I started to meditate. I didn't really understand how this could help but I  was ready and willing to try anything to get my life back; not only for myself but for the people I care about and the possibility of a more fulfilling life. That's where being selfless comes in. 


You must dig deep and find something to grab a hold of. What you grab hold of can be anything from a higher power, seeing a sunrise to someone or something you love. If none of those things are viable for you, then hold onto the possibility of what might come in the future. Hold on to hope and let that catapult you into health. I truly believe in a mind, body and soul connection. I believe one can not exist without the other. I believe in you and I believe in me. I know you can do it because  I have done it repeatedly. I'm not perfect! Falling and getting back up is living! I can also tell you that it does get easier after each fall. I continue to climb by using the tools that have worked in the past and new ones I've picked up along the way. 


So if you allow me, I would like to share those tools with you in upcoming posts. I would love to hear from you and I would also love to learn about any of the tools you've picked up along the way that has made you resilient in this thing called life. 
 

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